Let Your Future Self Lead You Into YOUR BEST LIFE
Challenges that majority of people are facing to live their Best Life.
Over the past few months, I have conducted a survey with over thousands of participants who agreed to answer a few of my questions. My intention is to find out what are my clients’ deepest pain or challenges or fears in life right now that is preventing them from living their best life and so I can
I want to share with you the summary of my findings to the challenges and provide some action steps so we can all have courage to life, establish an inner peace and deep connection with ourselves, living in gratitude, rise up and set as role model for the generations to come.
When I ask people what they want to create, what does their best life looks like and how best they can express their work to the world and contribute. 80 percent answered, “Don’t Know”. We have been so conditioned to think, act and perceive life a certain way that we lost our creativity and open our mind up for possibilities.
Majority of the world is living by existence, being busy doing things just because, dealing with the same old and same old…. Many felt held back by invisible barriers and feel disconnected from their own deeper knowing. They feel isolated even though they are surrounded by friends. Most people stated they did not know when and why they stopped giving themselves permission to fail again or take the leap of faith to the other side of the tunnel.
Women and men are now yearning for or sense for something more in life but could not name the feeling of disappointment that life is not as good as it could be.
Women and men don’t want just more stuffs or power, but they want to become all that they can become and meant to be just like a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly.
Women and men struggle with finance not because they cannot find a job, but they are seeking to find a way to create work that can best express who they are and live a thriving life that is aligned with their values.
Women and men are struggling with relationships not because they can’t find someone to be with, but they want a greater possibility of intimacy and growth with a true soulmate.
Women and men are struggling with their health and self care because they care so much and feel the needs of their love ones and others. Thus, its hard to know how to prioritize the demands and needs. The root cause of many health issues for women and men is really a chronic disconnection from themselves.
Women and men are yearning for bigger contribution to the world and the humanity and because they have so much gifts and talents to contribute but they don’t know where or how to start especially their minds are full of “stuffs” being absorbed from everywhere. One of my clients states it is as if she has a wild horse inside her being locked down in a barn and can’t escape.
Our Fixed Mindset
The main barrier that hold women and men back is their fixed mindset- either good or bad, win or lose, success or fail, perfect or imperfect to move forward. Often when we encounter setbacks, we make it mean who we are and our abilities. This is the number one power block we need to break through and support others to break through.
We need to step into a radical growth mindset as the very core of where confidence come from- not perfect or know all the answers, past traumas but the ability to learn, grow, lean to feedback course correct, utilize all the break down so we can harness the goods to fertilize our growth. We want to have a different relationship with our breakdowns, our mistakes, turn our fear into FUEL and our old stories to model this to the world that we are open, generous, rise and unstoppable and break through to the old model of shame, isolation, competition and lack. This will make a difference in the world. I want to challenge you to become the person and be role model for the generations to come. Open our heart to love again after getting
disappointed, expand as your own leadership and creation into the world even as being imperfect, stand up and show up to break through the invisibility when it feels scary.
Especially for women and men who were sensitive, caring and felt a strong sense of responsibility and raised in particular cultures, we need a particular type of growth and change. That is the change of identity and it is about development of new capacities and step into radical growth mindset. It is about who I am and my ability to achieve my dream. This is the number one hidden block that we as women need to break through.
There is a lot of information out there and many could not transform by themselves because they do not have the skill to embody them and we need to cultivate the skills in a growth container with support peers. I found that most people have no awareness of how results happen to them. They see themselves as victims and many just surrender and give up on life; thinking whatever will be, will be
Typical people set goal from scarcity mind, fear and control. This is not powerful. We make meaning about life that is fixed mindset meaning because who we were and how we had been in the past and we had been controlled by how others been perceived us.
Behavior Scientist had told us that whenever we have a dream, vision or a goal that we want to achieve but we have the story, the fear, the excuses, the stress that is occupying our brains- the left front cortex of our brains will release chemicals that activates the right side of the frontal cortex which will criticize your judgements and ask, what if you can’t, what if you fail, what if you embarrass yourself, what if you disappoint yourself, to keep you stay in your comfort zones and be good at disappointing yourself versus get out of our comfort zones to the other New and Better Version of Yourself. The unknowns scare all of us and lead us to anxiety, lack of control and lack of motivation even though we want the Results.
My personal story is something people experience day in and day out. Since young, I dealt with a lot of shame, guilt, embarrassment. These had kept me locked down in my own prison and kept me play small as I was not brave enough to take ownership of my story.
The pain in me that finally awaken me and committed to take full ownership of my story, heal my past traumas, and decide to share my life story with the world with a purpose that is to empower others to live a life they truly love.
To truly live our dream, what I know is truth that the linear system of goal setting or the tradition way of achieving success or coaching (set a goal, strategize, planning, visualization, affirmations) that we were taught, do not work in some aspects of our life especially if we want to create the a deep intimate relationship, a vibrant health, heal our traumas, establish a strong inner foundation of inner peace, breakthrough the old stories of shame, isolation, lack and not good enough belief or to create impact/ express yourself to the world through your work or most people say my life purpose.
As long as we are inside our old stories we can never grow, nor activate our full potentials. I used to believe it is a sign of weakness to reach out for support and when I did, I got no support and was told to keep my mouth shut. I felt shameful when I did not get the support I need and thought because no one cares, or my voice doesn’t matter or…. But the truth is no one really know HOW, the code for life- a happier life without sacrificing anyone but instead uplifting everyone around us and why we are here and what work or message we are committed to create and share with people around us.
The truth is: we can develop skills, a new way of approaching life as we are at the stage of change or decay now, we are worthy, we have the right to take up space, we are not alone, we can join with others to hold space for
us to grow, we also can create space for ourselves away from our responsibilities of daily tasks. We live in an abundant universe, everything happens in life is organizing around our success and it is time for new way of growing, being, doing and step up.
If you are interested in learning more of the process which will give you power to create a deep connection with yourself, listen in to your wise inner knowing (intuition), power to presence yourself, step into your authenticity and step forward and create the next level of your life that is align with your purpose, please contact me.
Once again, I want to say thank you for your support in purchasing the book and provide me feedback. If you are truly committed to your dream, your best life, then I strongly recommend follow the exact step by step system in the book to achieve your dream. This is a system that one of my mentors teach me and I have used this system numerous times to achieve many of my breakthrough goals.
It’s All starts from Self Love
My chapter for Self Love Attracts Success was a self reveal of my vulnerable side that I never want others to know about me and that is why I shut myself down. The repeated patterns in my life were causing not just pain for me but also for my love ones. I deemed myself not lovable, not worthy, alone and not enough. I gave my money away, including my self and my health to men who mean no good to me and ended up depleting myself. All these years in my life, I see myself as a person who did not matter and live to impress others to get approval. Not until I surrender and look at those unlove parts of me square in the face and committed to transform my life.
I attended many personal development events over the years and many times I admire those speakers, on the stage, delivering their messages confidently and empowering others. I always want to be a speaker but thought I have nothing to offer.
Now, my life has changed, I am doing the work I love and living on a mission to help others to break through their old fixed stories about who they are and what they believe.
I now have been hired by different organizations to be their guest speaker, a best selling author; but most important is my perception of life has changed, I am so much connected with myself and living in gratitude everyday and the best gifts I can ever give to the world is the experience and knowledge I gained along the way and hope it will inspire you to live your true-life purpose.
We are here to be seen, to show up with authentic confidence and co creating a growth-oriented relationship with our love ones. Having resources to thrive, prosper and feel at home in our own body.
I called this spiritual awakening although many say this is mid life crisis. If we don’t want our children to follow our old path, change is now. Take a step today towards your dream or goal.
If you would like to go deeper and discuss further, I would be happy to talk to you. I strongly recommend you find a transformational coach for yourself whom you resonate with, and who can see your brilliance, your potentials, your opportunities, and reflect to you and create the space for you to grow into who you are meant to be in this lifetime.
I have invested in both personally and professionally coaching myself in my life with 5 times a week so I will not recommend you do something that I am not already doing that has major impact and major good results in my life.
I once asked one of my mentors, Wayne Dyer,” Why is life so hard for me?” He asked me, “When you squeeze an orange, what comes out of an orange?” I answered, “…. umm…orange juice.?” He said to me, “Exactly, that’s what it has always been. When life squeezes you, what comes out of you is what’s been there all these whiles.”
Actions for YOUR BEST LIFE
1. Our mind can make a heaven out of hell, or hell out of heaven. Whatever you think is what is and how you feel.
2. What mindset are you holding?
3. What’s your belief about yourself, others and life? Are these beliefs help to bring you forward or pull you back?
4. What are you committed to creating? What do you want to share with the world?
5. What are the habits that are working against you? What is a habit you want to break? And new habits you want to create?
6. How do you cultivate the relationship with yourself? Meditation? Tapping? Or you need a support group to help to develop the skill? Practice Being Presence- Live in the Now.
7. Practice Self Care is a priority. Give yourself permission to practice self care. Self care is not selfish, self care is your responsibility to your future and your love ones’ future. When your cup is not full, you have no energy and nothing positive to share with people around you. Identify what rejuvenate you? Something that allows you to re calibrate your energy. So many times, we run our days on anxiety and stress. Tune in to yourself with lot of compassion and love, ask your body, what does she or he need? Listen patiently and write down what comes to your mind. and now set a schedule for when you practice self care. Your self care is non-negotiable.
8. In order to heal our past traumas (small or big), we need to get into the pain of the events, feel the feelings and metabolize it, allow it to flow in us and through us. Ask what’s the lesson to be learnt here and align your life with your purpose. From my experience working with many people. Many of us are so conditioned to live a particular way that they forget their ability to dream and imagine. If you want to experience a way of connection with yourself, please contact me. I will walk you through a quick 5-10 minutes process of Visioning. It is heart breaking to hear some of my clients who spent over 100k on
personal development with no real results while a few sessions with me and a simple explaining to help them understand dissolve their blocks.
9. What is your personality pattern in life?
Achiever: define self worth by what we achieve and do. We always pushing ourselves beyond limit. We always have the ideal self- the person who we believe we need to be to feel safe and love and value of ourselves. Always driving ourselves and pushing ourselves to be that person. Our inner critics constantly driving us and attack us. we just drive more stress. Ultimately, they drain our body. Body says enough but your achiever pattern says no I need to achieve it. this could be a cultural pattern, around success, we treat our body in a way that is unsustainable.
Helper: self worth base don what we do for other people. Even when body says no you override it by trying to help others. Put others’ needs beyond your needs all the times. We are doing this in an unsustainable way.
Anxiety: the world doesn’t feel safe. Always on edge. We find ourselves trying to find safety in the mind. we anticipate what can go wrong and trying to figure out in our thoughts. and our nervous system gets more anxious. safety comes from relaxing our nervous system, feeling sense of safety and support and gradually arise in us.
Perfectionist: our sense of safety and lovability tied to being right. If we are wrong, we feel unsafe and unlovable. Perfectionist cares about the details. It is energy draining. Maybe u r doing a project and you done a good enough job, but you keep pushing yourself to get more details and you drive to get things right all the time.
Controller: we feel to be safe we need to control of ourselves and others and the environment.
Where do these patterns come from? From nature and nurture. As a young child, I will always put others’ needs on top of mine. I then have achiever pattern based on how I was raised, part of the conditioning is whatever I did as not enough.
When you have fears, do not ignore it, acknowledge it, write it down and set an appointment 3 days later to debate with it. In the meantime, focus on what you truly want instead. Whatever you can think of, do it because boldness has genius n it.
When we are more committed to avoid others’ judgement or failure than to your dream, we are trying to preserve our ego and our self image and protecting our current comfort. What is the actual thing you are resisting? The ultimate truth is we are resisting to self rejection.
What are your old stories? What are your limiting beliefs of how you should live your life? Are you living by just your existence and don’t know your life purpose or goals? Please bring compassion, kindness, love to the you that was stuck in your past/limiting beliefs.
Your spending tells a story about your life. For example, when you look at where you aren’t spending—say doctor visits or new underwear—do you see where you may be depriving yourself?
When you look at where you are spending, do your purchases reflect your values, what’s important to you? Or are you trying to fill a hole in your soul that no amount of ‘stuff’ will ever fill.
Let’s embrace the value of who we already are and what we already have and share the spirit of love and light that dwells within us.
Go around your house, family members you have and practice gratitude everyday for 5 minutes
Questions to think about:
What’s so important in me, in my heart, my soul that needs to get out and worth the failure?
What would you do in your life that you will fail but still worth doing it?